Reply to Do I owe you an apology if I told you the truth and it subsequently hurt your feeelings?

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Reply to "Do I owe you an apology if I told you the truth and it subsequently hurt your feeelings?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you truly believe she is struggling with mental illness, it's not reasonable to believe that she is making a conscious choice to behave the way she does just to upset you. [/quote]

+1, you have some significant mental health issues in your family.  She needs love and support not you being nasty.[/quote]

That's the thing, I wasn't nasty. I was honest and I am tired. I'm tired of pretending like there isn't a very clear problem. I am tired of my dad pretending like I am not the only one who is taking care of him emotionally. Minus me he would be alone. The brunt is on me, but the credit is being shared. Now that my mom is gone everything is on me, but no one will acknowledge it. I am the strong one and I am absolutely sick of the roll.[/quote]

Do you have kids?
If you have more than one, you should realize that they have different personalities, and might not be there for you in the same way when you need them. And that's before we add mental health into the mix.

I have seen this played out so many times. There is always one sibling willing to bear the brunt of care, and another who tries to take credit while doing less, or nothing. My aunt took care of my grandmother, and my mother tried to pretend she helped (then my aunt stole my inheritance because she felt she'd "earned" it by helping out my grandmother - good times). My husband cannot help out his mother because she lives overseas, so her other children help her out *daily*. My husband still thinks he's helping out, by dishing out medical advice (he's a doctor), when she's surrounded by other members of her family who are also doctors - but no one is disabusing him. That would be mean.

You get my drift. 
Let.  It.  Go.

And don't think your father isn't unaware of the situation. He's probably giving her credit because he knows that's all she can give, and he wants to save face for everyone.[/quote]

Op here, I really appreciate your very reasonable and rational response. I think what I am getting at is I am hurting too, but so much more is being required of me because I am the "strong one." I'm just wondering when does the strong one get acknowledged for her strength, get a break from being strong and respect for saying what I see?

I have 4 kids and I am the only one with children.
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