Reply to Should guests dictate when they will come for the holidays (or ever)?

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Reply to "Should guests dictate when they will come for the holidays (or ever)?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: I want to clarify something.

This is a pattern. My brother is always trying to dictate terms of when and how we see each other. Always. Everything has to be for his family's convenience, and I am always the one bending and compromising. He never does.

My daughter would not have temper tantrums. She would be sad though. I think it is unfair to have her be sad for multiple days in a row to accommodate him.

Also, my DH does not want people here during the work week just getting back from a long trip, which I agree with (he has to work, kids have school/preschool), and I don't think I should be okay having them here and leaving right before Xmas when they could have flown down on Thurs and left on Sunday morning, if they had planned in advance. Weeks ago, he just said he was not coming for Christmas even though it was a weekend. I thought it was a non-issue, and now he is trying to bully his way into plans that are convenient for his family and not for mine. This has happened for years, and frankly, I am sick of it.

(I can't keep her home from school...if you miss 5 days of school, you have to meet with a truancy officer. she has already missed one day this year due to illness. she will miss 2 days in the spring because she is in a wedding for another family member out of state. I can afford for her to miss any days of school.)[/quote]

First of all, that truancy excuse is bunk.  I guarantee that you will not be speak to a truancy officer because your daughter was sick (so, excused) and then had 3 days of family obligations.  She's six.

Second, it sounds like your brother wants to see you.  That's a good thing.  Have you ever gone to see him and his family, or is the traveling always on his end?  I ask because if the burden of traveling is always on him, then I think you have to be more lenient.  And even if not, be more lenient anyway. [/quote]

OP here: I am the one who is usually accommodating him, which means, I am the one who normally travels there. The burden is usually on me. We lived next to each other for 18 months and it was a disaster (I could not go in the house if his two year old was asleep and that kind of nonsense). I had no such barriers to him visiting. Before that, I lived further away, and I did more traveling than he did for years. [/quote]

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