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[quote=Anonymous]I work hard long hours at a job that I am not in love with, and I out earn my husband. 
He works fewer hours (federal) and he has been charged with a lot of childcare, plus we use various sitters. We are comfortable. 
I often come home to a house of chaos. Kids doing poorly in school, no chores to speak of, they sit in front of TV and video games all day long then remember at 9 pm that they have tests and homework. Poor grades. Ages 11-14. 
They are spoiled. They have had all the stuff. Phones, Disney, private coaching, manicures, new clothes, you name it. Their father takes them out to dinner if they don't like what I've cooked. 
I am tried. I have heard that many of these psuedo stay at home dads are disasters when it comes to the child care. But I don't even care about that issue. He seems to have a different set of values than mine. He is as educated, but not as driven. He actually seems to want the kids to do badly in school and life. 
I remember watching that movie Mrs. Doubtfire, and I could relate to the scene where the mother walks into the house on the child's birthday, only to see some crazy party with kids dancing on the table. I told my husband that I felt like her, and he just laughed.
Anyway, it feels bad to be the only one in the house who works hard. They all sit of their duffs and relax all day long. Their teeth are filthy, their rooms are filthy. The only reason they bathe is because they are afraid of being called on BO by their friends. 
I spoke with a friend who just divorced her husband for the same issues. A year later, she has no regrets. We've done counseling and it has been a waste. 
Divorce would mean financial ruin. 
Interestingly, I am thinking of divorce and asking him to take the kids, I am so not happy with their behavior. 
I feel like he used me. [/quote]

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