Reply to Dear friend very unhappy; should I be honest about his marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a close friend I've known for some years.  Throughout the time I've known him, he's been stressed out, suffering from insomnia and frequent stomach upset, and sometimes really sad.  He's on a very short leash at home; I believe he probably once had an affair, and now he has to account for every moment of his day, leave work at an exact time and come straight home, and keep working from home if he needs to.   I know his marriage has been sexless for a long time.

Every single family vacation stresses him out, and he starts worrying about family stresses-- one of his college-age children is particularly trying-- well in advance.  We've become close in that we confide a lot.   He's been incredibly supportive of tough things in my life, and I in his.   Sometimes he talks about the pain of a divorce over 25 years ago, and he refers to his wife only in discussing family stress.

At the same time, he's extremely devoted to his family in a way that's very touching.

I'm not one to advise a married man about his marriage-- particularly because I'm a married woman. But it is absurdly obvious that he is miserable in this marriage.  He's happier on business trips, happier at work.  I feel it's amazing he hasn't been open about this yet, and I feel like this marriage will kill him eventually-- the stress, sleeplessness, lack of trust in him, the tight leash.

I am starting to feel like a good friend would not fail to tell him the obvious, and I wonder if he knows it himself.

What should I do? [/quote]

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