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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Short version: [b]he does not want to make any cosmetic improvements to our house[/b], ever. Maintenance only.

I just want to make a list, make a general timeline (over many years, totally reasonable IMO) and start earmarking a set amount per year towards this plan. We have the money, in cash, today to pay for everything I want without touching  very generous college, retirement, or emergency funds. No debt other than our 15 year mortgage below 3%.

But none of that matters. I just need to somehow move through all of the [b]stages of grief[/b] and get to acceptance. [/quote]

Hopefully, this is just hyperbole.  lol.  If he was the sole breading winner of the house, it's understandable (not necessarily reasonable) to understand his perspective.  But if it's a dual income household, you need to make your stand firmer and not give in as much to the extent where you need to "accept".  Perhaps you can compromise with him about certain cosmetic improvements that can actually appreciate the value of the house. [/quote]

I’ve tried. I wanted to move our laundry up to the bedroom level. Gave up on that and have just been trying for new machines. Wanted to redo the kitchen to change the layout, gave up on that and just tried for new counters/backsplash. Gave up on refinishing the hardwoods. We have 26 year old bathrooms,etc. I’m not asking to do all or even most just feel like we should start somewhere. But it’s truly a non-starter with him. Or he’ll just yell in anger “fine, do whatever you want!” but really who is going to move forward with that kind of endorsement?[/quote]

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