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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It would be helpful if you explained your financial arrangement.  It sounds like you have separate buckets?  [/quote]

OP here. When we got married neither of us wanted to switch banks so my paycheck is still direct deposited into my own account and I write DH a check for household expenses with a few hundred left over each pay period for personal expenses such as clothes and haircuts. We have joint savings at DH’s bank and all off our investments and retirement accounts are joint. We have a joint credit card. I have a debit card which is linked to my account and I use it for personal expenses.

It sounds convoluted but it generally works because he has opinions about what I spend money on ($$ haircuts for example—although he gets haircuts much more frequently than I do so it probably ends up almost even by the end of the year) and I don’t have to hear about it if I pay for it myself. But, for instance, he puts things like his haircuts, new golf clubs and greens fees on our joint credit card which gets paid out of the account we both put money into.

He used to insist that I pay for things like dinners out with my friends, my gas expenses and other stuff like that out of my account. For instance, lunch out for him would be counted under the food budget but if I went out to dinner with a friend it would be considered out of my personal budget.  I put my foot down on those kinds of things and now he doesn’t say anything about it.

But the issue is that if it’s not something he wants or would choose for himself then he doesn’t want to contribute money to it. Our mattress was 10 years old and was killing my back but he said it was fine for his so didn’t want a new one. I finally got him to make it my birthday present and he agreed. I needed a new computer and that ended up being a combo Mother’s day/anniversary gift. When he needed one he just went out and bought one.

So now I want to change out the light fixtures on the main level and he doesn’t care about it so he says he doesn’t want to spend the money on that. [b]Yes, I could pay for them and installation out of my personal account but the principle of doing that annoys me[/b]. [/quote]

Put it on the joint credit card! The double standard is ridiculous![/quote]

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