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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in my mid 30s. I seem fairly capable of attracting men, but nothing is turning into a long term relationship.

I would like to get married. I've read just about every dating, marriage and Rship book out there. I've tried all the different approaches ever mentioned. Playing it cool. Not playing it cool. Being super picky. Not being picky and dating everyone who asks. Have sex. Don't have sex. Wait on sex. Don't wait on sex. Be coy. Be outspoken. Be strong and independent. Be needy. Be sexy. Be prude. Go to church. Go to Home Depot. Hang out in bars. Go out single. Go to sports bars. Act married. Don't act married. Mention marriage early. Don't mention it at all. Mention it after a year. Let him bring it up. Enjoy single hood. Pretend you're already married, visualize. Lol I've tried it all.

I have tried any and every way to enter a long term relationship. I would like to think it's the guys where I live (the South), but maybe it's just me. I'm not desperate, I'm not picky, I don't have a laundry list of requirements. I'm told I'm very attractive. I'm fit and educated, stable career. I'm not seeking something I don't already have myself. I would like to meet a man who is kind, has a stable career, we get along, and he also wants marriage. That last one seems to be the toughest to find. [b]I've met plenty of guys who just want a good time, for as long as it will last. I tried being content with that, and having no pressure, but it doesn't turn out well for me. I end up really liking the guy and wanting more, but he doesn't, so my heart gets broken.[/b] Over and over again. I want to stop that cycle.

What are some tips you all can give me? I would like to hear from men and women. Anyone ever stuck in a rut like me, then had an aha moment? Please share what you did to get out of that rut. Do I need to change how I think?

Ladies, tell me what you did to get your man! The more details, the better.[/quote]

OP, here's your problem, in your own words, in bold.  You are in your mid-30s, but you're still dating like you did when you were 25.

At this stage in your life, you cannot afford to meet a guy, date him awhile, decide you like/ love him, and then find out that he's just in it for a good time. You have to get smarter about your dating strategy and learn to cut your losses much more quickly.

Quit playing games and be more upfront. You are dating to find a husband. Any new men you go out with need to know that upfront. If a guy has a trait or circumstance that you consider to be a deal-breaker, you cut him off from the start. Do not waste your time with mid-thirties plus men who are still playing around. If a man at this stage in his life can't agree with you that he's looking for marriage, you need to move on.[/quote]

Thank you PP. This is very good advice. How should I bring up to a new guy I meet, that I am dating to find a husband? Is this something I say as soon as we meet? Do I wait a few dates in, to mention it? What type of response is acceptable?

I've tried this approach before. Some men have told me they're also seeking marriage, but then a few months down the road it becomes clear we aren't headed in that direction.[/quote]

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