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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are having sex, so he hasn't asked why we aren't having sex.

I am concerned that the are deeper problems, which is why I worry that when is he loses weight I won't be attracted to him. I have known him thin, but he's mostly tended toward the heavy side throughout our relationship. But I don't remember what it is like to be really attracted to him. He'll never be buff. That's a virtual impossibility. Or at least he's never been interested in being in shape since I've been around.

I think probably our issues ARE the problem and the fat is really a convenient excuse, thank you for phrasing it that way, PP.

So, if it is just a convenient excuse, do I bother sharing it? I think no. I have to work on the other stuff.[/quote]

I think you work on the other stuff. But, I also think you can work on fitness -- just don't tie it to sex. Try to be healthy just for its positive impact on your lives generally. (If it helps the sex, all the better.) I don't know what stage you are in life, but for my wife & I, it seems like having kids and then getting to our 40s both were times when we got healthier. When we had kids (late 20s/early 30s) we started eating better, mainly because -- even if we were willing to treat our own bodies like shit, we felt we owed the kids better. The infant/toddler years were also a time when we kind of used exercise as an excuse to get away from the kids. Our 40s have continued the trend, but for slightly different reasons -- now it's easier to see that we can't take our health for granted and, because the kids are teens, we have more free time to exercise.

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