Reply to 6yo argues a lot. Help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And don’t be too hard on yourself! This is very, very normal behavior. And as one of my friends says, we want our daughters to be able to stand up for themselves! Just focus on the needs of the situation and try to keep calm yourself. —another mom of a strong-willed daughter[/quote]

My DD was very similar at that age. I think I had (have?) similar tendencies, too.

Things went much better when I kept my mouth shut as much as possible. The less I "fed the meter" by explaining, arguing, threatening, venting, etc, the more quickly she'd settle down. But the more I said, the more she'd turn it back around and try to use it to argue with me. Less is more.

On the upside, DD is a sweetheart now at age 9. Truly. She's still strong-willed, but way more appropriate in how she expresses herself. I'm more reasonable and flexible in response. It's wonderful.  So try to consider it a phase - not forever.

FWIW, a lot was just waiting for her to mature. The other part was having gentle conversations - long after the specific conflict and hard feelings had passed - about what happened and how we could do better next time. No blame - more joint problem solving. I always say we're a team and we can do better together. Slow and steady. Model the behavior you want her to learn.

Thank you so much for your family's service. We appreciate you all deeply![/quote]

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