Reply to My 30 something brother is homeless and is ruining everyone's lives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to look into low income senior housing and assisted living situations where he cannot live there.  Your parents need to apply for food stamps and medical (assuming they are getting social security). [b] You need to tell them that you cannot afford child care and their housing and its one or the other[/b] but brother is not to be around your kids.  In some areas here, like Montgomery County, there are free treatment programs.  he needs to go to one.[/quote]

Except that's not true.

I think that you focus on taking care of your parents, who, while they might be enabling your brother, also understandably don't want to abandon their child.  It's easy to say "cut him off," but when it's your child, it's very hard for some people to do (as it should be!  We want our parents to love us unconditionally!)  I agree--help them apply for any benefits they might qualify for, and give them assistance in non-cash forms so they can't give it to your brother (have groceries delivered, pay rent directly, etc.).  And do make clear that your brother is not welcome in the apartment you pay for, and may not be around your kids ever, even if they are also there.  Enforce that by calling the cops if needed.

Talk to your siblings about making a plan to help your parents as they age.  If you are all on the same page about your brother, that will help enormously.  Do look into options like assisted living and senior housing.

You are not going to be able to make your brother do anything he doesn't want to, and it sounds like he has a serious drug addiction and probably some other serious mental health issues.  [/quote]

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