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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "Help with Challenging Tween"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, read UNTANGLED--a great book about the emotional lives of tween/teen girls. The author notes that intense emotions are characteristic of this age period--when the feeling centers of the brain are in overdrive and the reasoning brain is still developing. The "not caring" thing? That's what teens do to offload their intense feelings. It's as if she's tired of being upset, so she creates a scenario where you will be upset instead. I know this is not exactly what you want to hear, but it sounds like you are doing many of the right things: staying calm, maintaining clear expectations. Those are essential. It does sound, though, like your DD does not feel heard. So I would echo an earlier poster: rather than talking to her, practice active listening and (above all) validation. Tweens need to know that the people around them can accept their big emotions--and offer nonjudgmental support.[/quote]
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