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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH hates me but stays because of the kids. Yesterday he told me he didn’t agree to some of the [b]rules I implemented [/b]months/years ago (about tv and daily reading) so he doesn’t feel compelled to enforce them if I’m not around. This is directly against what our child’s therapist tells us in terms of the need for consistency.  The day before DH was telling me how he envies his friend’s life and included “great wife” in the reasons.  I had to work yesterday and when I asked about what the kids did all day he told me it’s none of my business. Clearly he can’t stand me but I don’t want to get divorced.  I guess I hope he might change his mind and stop despising me.  Am I deluding myself?  I am spiraling into depression over this.[/quote]

Marriage is not a dictatorship. It is a long term relationship with ups and downs. You can not dictate how you thinks things should be done. You have to work together to set rules. I bet your child’s therapist would agree. If you take a step back, I think you will see you dominate and bully your husband. This sounds like a classic case of an individual who feels powerless pushing back.

So instead of all the drama(oh he hates me, but I am the real victim), sit down and talk. Try to understand where the other person is coming from and ask how we should proceed. It’s about getting buy in and the other party feeling like they are part of the process. Do not bring in allies(the child’s therapist) unless you are willing to let your DH talk to the therapist by himself. This should apply to your marriage also. [/quote]

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