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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two boys. My oldest is 6 and my youngest is 2. My MIL watched my oldest son for a few months when he was little and thus he is more attached to her. When my oldest son is around her he treats her like she is Queen Grandmother. He even cries sometimes when he has to leave her house after an overnight visit. Of course she eats this up, who wouldn’t. But instead of making a clean break when we are leaving she keeps going over to him and making him even more upset even after he has calmed down.   Most recently the shoe was on the other foot. MiL met up with us and eldest son treated her like he treats DH and I and refused to say hello and give her a hug.[b] Of course we corrected his behavior and asked that he give her a hug[/b] but after that she was so upset with him that even when we were leaving she mentioned it again when he hugged her goodbye. 
This really upset me and I could telll that my eldest was a little hurt that she was still holding on to it.

Conversely, when  DH and I go to pick our boys up, the youngest runs to us with hugs while the eldest will basically ignore us. This has gone on for like ever. [b]Both DH and I engage him and tell him it’s wrong since he shuts us out, MIL will speak up and say “it’s okay just leave him alone”[/b]. My eldest son sees and hears this dynamic and thinks it’s quite okay for him to be disrespectful to DH and I.  
 My younger son is much more attached to me and because he comes running to greet us (and he doesn’t cry when he leaves her) she calls him a “momma’s boy”. This bothers me because she’s his grandmother and thus should’nt call him names and because I’ve never known the term to be positive. 
A few days ago she visited and my youngest fell on his face in the kitchen. We were both in the kitchen but she was closest to him. She told me “I’ve got him and she reached down to pick him up. Since I was standing right there he reached out towards me and she literally ran away with him into another room. He began to cry for me and of course I followed to see if he was okay. He reached for me and of course I took him and she called him a “momma’s Boy” again. Should I speak up about this? I think what she is looking for is a “grandma’s boy” and it really bugs her that my youngest isn’t quite taken with her as my eldest (although they both lover her)
Is this something I should address or just leave alone?  By the way, MIL  and I get along fine and I have no trouble saying something to her. I don’t however want to say something if there is a consensus that she’s really doing nothing wrong.

Op,

I think you and your MIL are more similar than you like to admit.  You may not call your sons a "mama's boy or Grandma's boy"  but you both force the boys to hug when they don't feel like it.  ( see bolded)  YOur MIL was correct when she said "just leave him alone"  My question to you is how would feel if someone forced you to hug them and told you that you were being disrespectful because you didn't?

Personally, I would work on myself before I would tell MIL anything.[/quote]

Op here, I certainly know to get the plank out of my own eye before getting the speck out of someone else’s. I am simply inquiring how to handle the current situation at hand.  We ALL could work on ourselves as no one is perfect. And yes MIL and I do share similar qualities otherwise. However, I stand by having my children address the adults in their lives with respect unless said adult has done something that would deem them unworthy of respect. That is not the case here.[/quote]

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