Reply to Donut hole families: Did you scrimp/save/take out loans to go to Ivies/Top privates?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If so, how did it work out socially for your kids? I get the feeling that these "top" privates and Ivies are filled with either kids that come from wealthier families that can easily afford to full pay or kids from families who quality for financial aid and can often go for low/no cost?

Were your kids able to connect with other kids or did they find it hard to find a peer group as both groups of kids come from different backgrounds? Personally, I found it difficult a number of years ago as I was in this position way back when and I'm curious if other kids from donut hole families found it as challenging as I did to find friends?

I'm not down playing the important of diversity at all and am all for having different friends from different backgrounds, but in reality I found it hard to fit in with either group and didn't find too many people from a similar background as myself to connect with.

I'm steering my kid towards a public for this reason (and for financial reasons, of course), but don't want to discount an option just based on my past experience.

How are your kids doing? No issues? Same kind of dynamic? Thanks![/quote]

I was a 'regular' middle class person who went to an Ivy, went to a DMV public school.  My parents prioritized saving for college vs. vacations, cars, etc etc.  More than half the kids at Ivys get some sort of financial (at Yale, for instance, it's more than 50% that receive financial assistance from the school & more than 60% receive some other form of financial assistance).  It's a myth that everyone at any Ivy is super wealthy... yes, there are a portion of kids who are, but there's a huge range of kids at these schools. There is a large tier of kids like I was and my kids would be, who don't qualify for aid really but are living at our means.  Overall, more like 75% to 85% are not 'super wealthy" (and not 15+% of kids are international).  So, don't worry about it on those grounds, if your kid is thriving and bright and motivated and all that to get into the school, they be fine.  [/quote]

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