Reply to If You Can’t Find a Spouse Who Supports Your Career, Stay Single

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Reply to "If You Can’t Find a Spouse Who Supports Your Career, Stay Single"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  The way I read it, only some (a few?) men will be super-supportive.  Which means probably a lot more women should stay single.  See here:

"Even for couples who are committed to equality, it takes two exceptional people to navigate tricky dual-career waters. It’s easier to opt for the path of least resistance — the historical norm of a career-focused man and a family-focused woman. Especially if, as is often the case, the man is a few years older, has a career head start, and so earns a higher salary. This leads to a cycle that’s hard to break: Men get more opportunities to earn more, and it gets harder and harder for women to catch up."

She lists some strategies for helping to cultivate a more equitable partnership for two career-oriented people, but overall, it seems daunting, given how so many men are raised to expect their careers to take precedence.[/quote]

I can see how this would be difficult in practice, but as long as there is mutual give and take I don't think it's that rare. I out-earned my DH and had a more demanding career for the first six years of the adult portion of our relationship, and he's earned more and had a more demanding career for the last three (we have one baby). I supported him going after a more demanding/lucrative role but was clear that I was unwilling to keep working 60+ hours/week and also be primarily responsible for a baby (he travels a lot), so I was going to do something less demanding for a few years. He would prefer that I return to my more demanding/lucrative role and I also hope to do that in a few years when I'm done having little kids, but we have discussed the fact that he will then need to shoulder more domestic responsibility. FWIW, I know very few couples in which the man is several years older. Almost everyone I know is in a relationship with a partner within one year of their own age.[/quote]

^^ My DH's mother was an investment banker, which helps. He was not raised to view women as having less important careers.[/quote]

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