Reply to House hunting is driving me nuts - DH and I are at an impasse.

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been looking for a home. DH will be paying for the bulk of the down payment from his personal savings accrued prior to our marriage. I’ve been doing the bulk of - if not all - the housing search and pre-approval process. We live in a very competitive market and houses are sold within a matter of hours so we need to stay on top of new listings.

I initially wanted to look for a home because what we are paying in rent is equivalent to a small mortgage. I wanted us to find a starter home where we could have our first child and eventually purchase a larger home with the idea the first one could eventually be a rental property.

We started looking, and the list of things DH wants just keeps growing. I try to remind him that we are looking for starter homes and he has made a (good) point tHat he doesn’t want to settle. The reality is that the list of things he wants (newer construction, specific heating, garage, yard, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, newer appliances) in a nice neighborhood is out of our price range. I’ve talked to him twic about needing to compromise, like on the heating and appliances or 1 less bedroom. He agrees verbally, I find listings matching this and then he turns it down in person.

I’m very tired of doing all the work and communication with the realtor for him to reject it. We’ve seen 25+ homes so far and I feel bad for wasting this poor realtors mind! I’ve had this conversation twice now about DH needing to be more engaged in the process and consider making some compromises but nothing changes when push comes to shove.

Our other option would be to pay down some liabilities, but due to a recent change in DH’s job we may not be eligible for the type of financing that we pre-qualified for in the new year (or so our mortgage broker tells us.)

I feel like I’m ready to throw in the towel for the sake of our marriage and look again when we can get pre-approved for a more expensive home that’s in line with what he wants.

Thank you for reading, this is largely just a big vent. [/quote]

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