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[quote=Anonymous]Ok -- look, these are tough issues .  Fourth Wave seems as biased against believing there are any real trans kids as the professionals those parents criticize for reaffirming trans kids. I think each case is different, but here are a few basics to consider: 1) tell your freshman daughter there will be no medical treatments until she has been in therapy at least 6 months to a year; 2) i say this partly because I am assuming as a freshman she is alread pretty far into puberty - so puberty blockers -- which I know some 4th wave parents critique -- are probably not going to do much to help your child anyway at this point.  So in a way, you are lucky you don't need to worry about them (although they can stop periods and your daughter may push for that at some point); 3) find a good therapist you and your child connect with. I agree with other posters that some therapists who focus on trans kids tend to just reaffirm and not challenge. But I have also seen the disaster of a therapist who doesn't understand trans issues and can't connect with a kid -that is at best a waste of time and money -- at worst will encourage a rebellious teen to take a firmer stance just to spite the therapist and you.   To me, and key criteria is a very gifted therapist -- who can question to help a kid think about different angles without insisting one or the other, and help parental /child communication.  But it does help for them to know something about the topic. 4) my trans child saw several therapists - the third we stuck with -- and as parents we interviewed some others too. I have never met one who will say "yes, your kid is trans" or "no, she is not."   There is no medical or psychological test for this. 5) the poster above makes a good point about some girls feeling uncomfortable about their bodies changing,  but to hat you and a therapist presumably do is look at all the evidence and patterns.  It sounds like OP this isn't out of the blue for you.

Another thought. You will need a team of support.  Besides the therapist, if your child persists at some point you will need an endocrinologist. At some point Interview these people -- yourself at first.  You can tell your child you are gathering facts but you don't need to tell her now - first work on their therapist. If you ever go down that road of hormones, interview several doctors who have experience with female to male transitions.  Before any cross hormone treatments, you need to talk about fertility -- testosterone over a long period may make your daughter sterile.
Over shorter periods it may be partially reversible. We don't have long term studies.  These are heavy issues for a young teen to consider.  And there are partial solutions these days --Egg harvesting.  This is very invasive, involves months of injections of female hormones etc. And you will have to fight with your insurance company and may not get coverage.  But the sequence is 1) therapy; if your DC is transgender and elects to go further with your consent , then 2) decide on fertility ; 3) decide on interventions (hormones, top surgery.)

No one wants to be trans -- but if you accept some people's bodies don't match their brain's gender and you need to explore other, it is a lot of necessary work.

We wish you and your child luck OP. [/quote]

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