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[quote=Anonymous]11:32 here again - I wish we could have coffee OP:)  It's hard for others to understand if they haven't been through it or haven't experienced it to the same extent.  I also agree as a mother it's sometimes more painful to think how our own mothers could do this since now that I have kids I see how vulnerable they are.  Of course I get irritated with them and need time apart every now and then but I would never just stop talking to them.  You're lucky your dad was there for you.  My mom's husband took her side mostly, I think because he was afraid of her.  I understand he did what he also had to do to survive though and keep the peace with her.  She's not someone where you want to get on her bad side!  Since I've been an adult she's cut off her only 2 or 3 friends for various slights as well.  Does your mom have friends or get along with others?  Just curious since I've always wondered about that dynamic too.  For the PP who asked why you tell your mom anything, don't feel bad about trying to keep her a part of your life.  Most people like this are skilled at making you feel bad if you don't give enough and as children (no matter how old we are) it's natural to want connection with a parent, even if they're not healthy.  [/quote]

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