Reply to School application period - is your spouse engaged or absent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why parents want/need to be so involved in applications once the child is old enough to go to college.
My parents did not help me with my applications. In fact my experience has been that if my child isn't engaged enough to handle things on their own (or at least mostly on their own) then they are not engaged enough to succeed anyway. first, I don't think it is helpful to the kids to carry them through life and second, it is exhausting.[/quote]

+1. I applied for a private high school. My parents didn't help me at all, and I half-assed the application. Surprise, I didn't get in. I learned more from that experience than I would have if I had got in because my parents pushed the application process.

Same with college- I researched schools, applied, and paid for it (which meant applying to many scholarships) on my own. As a result I worked hard in college and did well. In contrast, my parents did everything for my younger sibling- filling out applications and paying tuition- who flunked most classes and got kicked out.

I've seen it extend into the workplace as well. I was a manager at a company that employed many people in their 20s and the level of parental involvement was crazy. Parents calling out sick for their adult children, following up on interviews, coming in angry to yell at us when their kid got fired, etc.

I'm convinced this is one of the driving forces behind the high rate of depression. How will you build any self esteem if you never do anything on your own? How will you learn to handle failure? [/quote]

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