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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Trailing spouse - how do I not go crazy?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am also a trailing spouse but from overseas (UK). We had equally impressive Media jobs in London. Here in DC he is a bigwig and I'm a "SAHM". Write a book, have some children, create a volunteer venture. The world is actually your oyster, lady.[/quote] +1 You can spend your time thinking about the "someday" when you move to a city -- or you can get out and find things to do and people who share your interests. If you're not working you have a huge opportunity to look beyond whatever stereotype you've got of this of middle of nowhere place and explore the area, join a class, work on a degree, volunteer for something that matters to you, seek out other trailing spouses.... My close friend moved to a college town much like what you describe and got involved in local activities and made friends of her own, not just acquaintances made through her DH's work. You will have to make an effort but it's doable if you don't waste energy on "what if" thinking. If you go into this viewing the area as a bore you're only going to keep finding it boring. If you look at this move as a way to see a region and kind of town you've never experienced, whether you love it or not, you might find some positives. And bear in mind: He might end up liking and doing well at this school. He might make good friends there through work. Are you open to the possibility that this could be a job he might want to keep even after he gets tenure? Or will you tell him the deal was that you'd leave? If you see yourself only as marking time until you get out, and eventually he says "I would like to stay in this job longer" -- you and he will hit a problem in the future. Another reason to look around and see what positives you can find. [/quote]
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