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[quote=Anonymous]Barrett - I don't know what it is that you're doing or not doing, but you smell. It was you the memo was about from HR.  Also, please talk less.  
Winnie - Get off the phone with your husband.  He's been retired for three years now.  That's plenty of time to find EVERYTHING in the house.  Let him find it himself.  Everyone makes fun of how you spend all day on the phone telling your husband where things are in the house.
Boyd - We all know you have various ass problems, what with the ass pillow you sit on, the personal wipes you stroll down the hall holding when going to the bathroom, and the tube of ointment you left on your desk that someone googled.  Discretion would be your friend.
Lainey - The way you eat potato chips in meetings makes me want to slap you across the face.  Stop taking teeny tiny nibbles and chewing with your mouth open. Or only eat soft foods. 
Marcus - You are more phony than a three-dollar bill.  Nobody likes you. Everyone finds you smarmy.  Iris quit because of you. Gara is now miserable because she works with you. 
Cory - None of the women like working with you because you invade their physical space.  Do not come around someone else's desk.  Do not scream at young associates, and ESPECIALLY do not do so while they are sitting and you are standing.  [/quote]

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