Reply to When one spouse has a "big" job

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[quote=Anonymous]Of course it's not unreasonable to expect him to pick up kid duties, but as you know, your DH is not reasonable.

My DH similarly would fight me on doing kid work needed to support my job, like sick days and drop offs.  But our economic situation was different - he knew that we needed my salary to pay our bills.  So when push came to shove, he realized he needed to share in drop-offs ... although I still had a hell of a time convincing him to cover sick days.  Those days he would only do if I made a huge fuss about it.

For drop offs, I pretty much just informed him that I would be leaving at x time and he would have to drop off that day.  If I had asked him, I'm sure he would have refused.  So I just informed him.

Your DH however, has shot out of the gate being obstructionist, and because your schedule does not overlap with daycare, you'd be depending on him to be able to do your job.  I'm sorry to say that I don't know if that will work.  I was able to do my job because it pretty much overlapped with daycare/nanny share hours.  If I had been depending on DH to do childcare on weekends and evenings and mornings, I'm not sure it would have worked.

Are there possibilities in your field where you can have a more regular 9-5?  Can you do a nanny with more flexible hours instead of daycare?  Can you find a daycare with nontraditional hours?

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