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Reply to "Pulling DS from a higher-level team"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, take it from a long-time veteran of soccer in this area, you need not worry about what anyone else is doing---or that you are going to ruin your child's future at 11-years old by this one choice. It is very hard to tune out the crazy parents around you, but it's necessary. You are already on the right path by looking at your own child as an individual and what his needs are at this current time and place. There are two camps in the travel soccer world. 1) The parents that are very focused on political gain from the start---they have to start at Club X and do everything in their power to rise or stay at the top from U9 onward. They will buy training from a Coach--even knowing that particular coach may not be the best trainer because they are looking for an angle, an "in" (yes--parents have told me they do this). They will do anything and everything a Club asks of them--even when it is having a negative impact on their kid and their family. They are ultimately scared of everything---being blackballed, having their kid not start if they miss something, standing up to a toxic coach, etc. ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR beginning at age 8! They will tell everyone else ---if you don't do 'a, b and c' you child's chances 5-years down the road are squashed. They emit such tension on the sidelines every game. No surprise--this is much more about THEM, than their child. This area is filled with people like this--not just the sports world but in the academic world as well. SHUT THEM OUT. 2) The minority camp are the parents that wisely are taking clues from their own child and doing their research. Even though their child might make a top team, if they don't feel it's a good match or if it's too much too soon or the environment is too toxic, they politely decline. What someone may view as an inferior choice, e.g., oh--how could you leave for them--they aren't the best and don't play in XYZ league--these parents are looking at the LONG-TERM and what will keep their kid loving the sport and the best developmental track for their child's needs. They are looking at the best trainers--period--not teams. If they sense a kid needs a full off-season break (not Super Y or practices all winter long), they sit their kid and let him just play in the backyard. U12 is still very young. Here's a little tidbit the type 1) parents don't realize--all of their posturing and sucking up and "commitment/loyalty to a club", skipping family weddings for a game, won't matter when the kid is 15/16. It just won't. The only thing anyone should be worried about is having a kid that wants to be out there and simultaneously making sure their individual development is the best it can be. The golden ticket in the later years is ultimately how good the kid is as a player---not which Club he played with in the early years or what Coaches know his face (though that is a big part of your youth soccer system and why we have players like Bradley (nepotism) on the pitch during the World Cup) or how many Hampton Inns they stayed at throughout the soccer season. Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years? I repeatedly ask my kids if this is something they really want to do (not just because everyone else on the team is doing it) ---and we weigh the options before committing to anything. I pulled my kid out of the Club scene at the same age as your child and he is absolutely thriving now. He worked on what he needed, not what a particular team needed. Through the years, we met some really great people that have stuck by my child and helped us with his personal development. These guys have been wonderful mentors for my son and put things in perspective for him. I refuse to drive or fly my kid all over the US at these young ages for regular season games or tournament after unnecessary tournament. It is just plain stupid and not the best thing for development. Your kid will have the upper hand in the later years if you only focus on his own needs, trust me. I know a handful of players that have gone the same route---leaving top Club team/DA/whatever for a few years---and coming back around 15/16 and blowing away the competition. The kids that stayed in that structure environment early on, for the most part, burned out or were cut when better players showed up at tryouts in the later years. Taking my child out of that toxic environment was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Really, very few Clubs actually care about your child. It's a business. Your kid is giving you clues, listen to them. They will sometimes continue with things because they think it will make us happy. This is their time, not ours. Find your tribe and keep your kid sheltered and having fun/motivated for as long as you can. Trust your gut and don't look back. This "business" can really mess with a child's motivation, self-esteem, player growth and confidence. Best of luck to your son. [/quote]
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