Reply to 5 year old DS remarked that his brain is "not good"

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Reply to "5 year old DS remarked that his brain is "not good" "

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[quote=Anonymous]I absolutely think you should scaffold playdates.

When my son (adhd, anxiety, also introvert) was that age, I tried everything until I found formulas that worked. For him it would be one kid at a time and some planned activity that was super appealing to my son (since most friends would do pretty much anything). I had to be ready to jump in energetically and play at times and I had to be ready to let son escape and be by himself for a bit for a break. I was actually very grateful for siblings because I felt like the ensured that friend was having fun  the whole time and would return. We hosted constant play dates... at that age kids are not very critical (or necessarily very perceptive) and my goal was to keep kids coming until my son got comfortable with the individual kids--which I knew would take a long time.

I know it's incredibly hard but you have to view this as a very long term project. Sometimes my son would participate in half the play date and then need alone time to recharge. It was completely counterproductive for me to tell him he was being a "bad host" ... I had to built up his skills (and his tolerance) little by little. I had to take it as a victory if the next time he participated in two-thirds. Also my goal was to foster some real friendships not just work on social skills.

I am not saying that my son is class president now as a middle schooler but the slow steady approach totally worked. He has several very close friends. he is still an introvert but he definitely has picked up social skills.[/quote]

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