Reply to 5 year old DS remarked that his brain is "not good"

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[quote=Anonymous]DS, who hasn't yet been diagnosed as autistic but is in line for a neuropsych scheduled for early next year, has really been fixated with numbers lately. He's not by any measure a genius with numbers and tends to exaggerate with them - he'll whine that a haircut will take "75 hours" and that cleaning up toys will take "600 minutes." He frequently brings up math facts in conversation...which of course doesn't make for much conversation. He had a playdate today and did just that. He told the girl that "600 is 100 more than 500," and of course his friend didn't make much of that statement and proceeded to play more with DS' siblings. He frequently says things to friends that are out of the blue and seemingly irrelevant, so I've noticed friends not responding to DS and playing more with DS' siblings.

After the play date, I encouraged him to "think socially" and think about the friend he's playing with as he comes up with things to say. I told him that five year olds don't want to hear math statements per se, but want to do joint activities, like color together, run around, play games, etc. I told him that just because he's thinking about a math fact doesn't mean that his friend wants to hear it - so I was encouraging him to think about what his friend likes to do. Of course, perspective taking for kids with ASD is very hard.  After hearing all this he said very simply "my brain is not good" and something to the effect of "I'm not smart." It broke my heart hearing him say that.  This was the second time he's revealed that he's aware that he has deficiencies in the way he thinks and behaves.

My questions are, what can I do to help him improve his social skills? Should I continue to scaffold his play dates and try to coach his behavior? Has anyone had luck using social skills modeling videos to really drill in basic social thinking? Also, should I start talking to him about how his brain is wired differently, which makes things like playing with other kids a little more challenging?  The fact that he seemed more self-aware now really got to me.

He is not in a formal therapy program at this time. We are in the process of finding him a speech therapist. He did play therapy recently and after about four sessions, the therapist concluded that he's not autistic. He's currently doing well in K and is able to handle the schedule, activities, and being around 24 other kids without accommodations yet. He's also part of a social skills lunch program at school. Other than being shy and introverted, he did well in pre-k and made some friends, but he still has a hard time connecting with friends. I just fear that he will not be able to make lasting friendships and am afraid of how that will impact his life. [/quote]

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