Reply to Still in love with my soon to be ex husband

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[quote=Anonymous]You get counseling on your own, solo, if you aren't already doing so.

Did you just "suggest" marriage counseling or did you tell him, clearly, that you were willing to work on possibly reconciling if you both worked out specific problems, with professional help, and you felt he was making no moves to take you up on that offer? In short--were you hoping he would reach out to reconcile or he would embrace marriage counseling, but he didn't? Were you vague and hopeful waiting for him to make the first move or were you direct and frank about saying what you needed if you were possibly going to work on the marriage?

I truly don't mean to sound harsh or as if I'm blaming you, OP! I just get the sense from the post that you might have been in a "waiting to see if he makes the first move" pattern that can end up killing off a relationship as one person waits and hopes, without speaking up enough, while the other starts to figure, oh, this is how things are going to be, and goes into a default mode of letting the marriage go because that's easier than working on it. Maybe that's not your situation--I just know it does happen.[/quote]

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