Reply to Need so much help for 14 year old boy- no idea where to begin

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[quote=Anonymous]Background: 14 year old boy, his father (my boyfriend) was addicted to drugs at the time he was born, left the area before he was 2 years old for rehab and didn't return for 6 years. Saw him about 1-2 times a year for a week long visit. During that time his mother married and had two more children. One of those children died suddenly at 18 months. His mother was never the same. Her marriage fell apart, she began abusing prescription pills and has been engaged in several abusive and inappropriate relationships with men for the last several years. My boyfriend returned to Virginia and quickly was given custody of his son by the mother and she has disappeared. We hear from her every 3-6 months for a quick visit and then she is gone again. At the time my boyfriend regained custody his son was doing very poorly in school and seems emotionally stunted. He was put in private Catholic school in hopes that the smaller class size would be better for him to get help and stay connected. He failed several classes in 6th and 7th grade. 
Present time: Now we are in the first semester of 8th grade. My boyfriend and I (after dating 3 years) moved in together in August (I have full custody of my 11 year old) with hopes that we could establish a safe and stable home for both kids and normalize this crazy life. This has not been the case. My boyfriend's son is showing some serious behavioral issues as well as some concerning learning disability issues. He constantly lies to us, he throws full blown temper tantrums like a toddler, he is manipulative, and very difficult to bond with. Obviously this is a product of the chaos he has been raised in but he literally has our lives hijacked right now and we are at a loss. We need help and we have no idea where to begin. He has been seeing a therapist for two years with no substantial improvement and we have reason to believe she is having some transference issues with him, and the issues she has with her own daughter. We have date set up for him to be tested through Alexandria Public Schools for learning disabilities but that is not until Nov. 28th. We don't believe Catholic school has been a positive change in his life but we are fearful he will get lost in public school. We don't have the kind of money it takes to buy tutors and specialists and special schools. (He has United Health benefits) 
Does anyone out there have any resources, therapists, specialist, or anything that could help us? I am afraid that is we don't find a solution soon this young boy will end up in a very dark place. Thank you so much for any suggestions. [/quote]

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