Reply to Avoiding becoming my sister's keeper

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Avoiding becoming my sister's keeper"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It's a bit concerning that your only expressed worry is that she might end up on your doorstep, ie, bothering you. I hope this is only a shorthand, and that you spent decades trying to find her mental health specialists and therapists?

Hoarding and compulsive shopping are both linked to ADHD, which in turn is linked to depression and anxiety. All of these things will generate conflict with loves ones. Has she been evaluated for any of those?[/quote]Give OP a break.  It may be that she tried to get her sister to see a specialist and sister wouldn't listen.  And whether she did or not, OP would be wise to prepare herself for the possibility that she'll have to decide whether or not to help her sister and if so how much.  Been there.  Done that.  Might as well spend some time reflecting on how much you'll be involved in your sister's care.  [/quote]

You're clearly sensitive about this subject, PP, because I was trying to choose my words carefully - I could have been a lot more direct.

My best friend sends a monthly stipend to her severely mentally ill older sister, with a couple of known diagnoses. She has spent decades in therapy trying to understand where to draw the line, because of course it doesn't end here. There are innumerable demands on her time and money in addition to the stipend, as well as calls to complain and accuse her of all and sundry. The issue is that her older sister would be suicidal (literally), homeless and in physical danger without my friend's help. My friend feels enormous guilt and resentment over this situation, and it's hard to watch this burden her life. However she had rules from the beginning. One of them was on no account to let her sister live with her. The other is that extra monies go directly to the landlord, or whoever is asking for the money.

So I know where this could end. It doesn't mean understanding and compassion should be throw out of the window.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics