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[quote=Anonymous]I'm estranged from my grandmother but think every day about how much I wish my grandma could just see my little girl, just once. I can't get this thought out of my head, have had it most days since DD was born 18 months ago.

Grandma is still alive, but in her 80s and not in good health. I haven't seen her in 3 years.

I know the obvious question is, why don't I just make it happen? She lives with my mother who I do not, and cannot, have a relationship with. There are very good reasons for this estrangement, believe me (violence, personality disorder, severe alcoholism). I could give examples but thats not really why I'm posting (to have the validity of the estrangement vetted by dcurbanmom).

I've tried to have a one on one relationship with Grandma but my mom has completely isolated her and I can't get her on the phone and the last time I tried to visit (3 years ago) my mom physically attacked me, kicked me out of the house and threatened to call police and tell them I hit Grandma.

I've written grandma dozens of times and sent pictures of DD and I. I get no response or hateful/nasty/delusional responses. I just wish I could have lunch with her one last time and tell her how good my life turned out. She was a huge part of my life up until 3 years ago. She missed my wedding and my daughter's birth. I wish I could tell her. I wish she could see DD just once and tell me how perfect she is.

It really is impossible. Can I make the thought go away? I'm in therapy and the advice is basically mindfulness and try getting your feelings out in a letter you will never send.[/quote]

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