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[quote=Anonymous]My MIL told us she had cancer.  Of course, she didn't, but she did have bipolar depression.  Her claims of illnesses like cancer always came at a particular part of her bipolar cycle when she was shifting from the end of her manic cycle into depression.  They were a weird kind of paranoia or delusion.

When I look back at that time now, I feel sad, because everyone believed that she was saying these things to be manipulative and so they treated her like she was a horrible person.  Her kids, who all by then were mid-30s and up, internalized her "manipulativeness" as a lack if love or care for them.  So, sad for her, because misinterpretation of her behaviour prevented her from getting the treatment she needed. Sad for her kids because they grew up thinking she didn't love them enough not to use them, when in fact, when she was healthy, it was clear she loved and was proud of all of them.

Be careful how you handle this.  The reverberations last forever.  If your DH's ex has a mental illness, it would really help to work with a family psychotherapist for you, DH and bio or stepkids.  [/quote]

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