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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]he's hiding in his bed playing video games on the ipad.[/quote]

Can you simply take the iPad away except when he earns it back at weekends by truning in all homework or whatever you set as the way to earn it back?

If he says he needs it for school--I've never seen my teen use a pad but only a computer for actual schoolwork.

If he's playing online games, turn off the house wifi. Change to s password he doesn't have. Anything he does that requires wifi, he has to ask an adult to turn it on. A pain for you but possibly necessary until he demonstrates maturity.

Lying should lose him both games AND some other privilege he really values. Find his "currency"--the things he will miss enough that losing them will make him alter behavior. Could be an expected outing, participation in an event or sport, etc. Do not spring this kind of consequence on him, though. Sit down with him and your spouse and the parents explain that these are the new rules about gaming, iPad use period, phone use, computer use; then lay out calmly that if he does X, he will lose Y for Z days (or weeks). I'd be very clear with him that lying about misuse of a device will be treated even more seriously than the misuse and will result in losing more, for a longer time. Tell him all this when things are calm, so he knows what to expect if he misuses and/or lies. Emphasize that all lies, about devices or not, will earn the consequences you lay out.

He will act like you're monsters but stay cool and totally consistent. Act regretful rather than angry if he transgresses: "You lied snow sneaking games on (whatever). I'm sorry you made that choice after we talked so clearly about what the consequence would be, but now the result of that choice is that you lose the weekend gaming you usually would get, plus you cannot attend (event) this weekend."[/quote]

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