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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry this happened to you.

Tell your father that HE (not YOU) must tell your mother.  Give him a deadline of 24 or 48 hours.  After that, tell him that you have the email (even if you don't) and will forward it to your mom.  Also tell him that you will inform his employer since I'm sure the firm has a policy against fraternization, especially between partners and secretaries.  Note that your dad will not blink about you telling your mom but he WILL get off his keister and be honest with your mom if you threaten his job.

But the whole point is that HE should be the one to tell your mom, not you.

You don't say much about your parents financial situation and who contributes what.  Usually, though, it is the wife who is the lower wage earner (if she is employed at all outside the home) and also the person who is most at risk for serious financial harm.  So while this is all happening, make sure your mom has a separate bank account from your father, separate credit cards, be ready to help her re-key the locks on the house, etc.  You may also want to research good divorce attorneys for your mom.  She may be completely unknowing about the affair and could be totally devastated by this so you don't want him to take advantage of the situation and leave her in dire straits.   Also, see if you can get the email so that your mom can use it when she petitions for divorce.  She can use it to substantiate her claims against him.

Again, I'm sorry for your troubles.  Please do your best to make your father to be honest with your mother and to leave you out of it.[/quote]

I would not try to "handle" this for Mom that seems really condescending.  Isn't it her life, her marriage, her husband?  Op's dad screwed up and laid his dirty laundry out for his kids to see.  He is clearly not being above board and honest with Op's mom.  That's wrong of him and Op is under absolutely no obligation to keep this a secret.

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