Reply to Not sure if I should be mad at my mother or son--or mad at all!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can't stop your mom.  But you can return excessive gifts or put them away for future.  She can buy all she wants, but in your house you get to decide what your kid plays with.

However, you can control your kid.   Take the toy away and never give it back.  If your son is this manipulative now, you need to teach him some real consequences.  The more smart-mouthed he gets, the fewer toys he gets.  Even if that leaves him with a pile of rocks to play with.[/quote]

[b]Tell her she can buy the kids whatever she wants so long as she keeps them at her house. If she has a big house, fine, they'll have stuff to play with when you visit. If she thinks that's unreasonable, point out that it's just as unreasonable to have it at your place.
[/b]
You can't stop her from buying gifts and I'm not really sure why you want to. I know you don't want your kids to be spoiled, and I get that. You probably also don't want an expectation created that every time they see grandma, they get gifts. But you can't change her. So work on your kids to make sure they are properly grateful. [/quote]

My mom does this.  She buys the toy for one grandchild, but she keeps it at her house.  All the kids play with it when they come over.  She gets the joy of buying it for the kid whose excited, all the kids have a fun toy to play with when they go to her house (she has 6 local grandkids) and we don't have the clutter.  Usually, the toy does end up at our house at some point, but the newness has worn off by then and we either use it or I get rid of it.

It's a good first step to stem the buying, since she will have to store the stuff.  My mother does send cheap plastic stuff home with them sometimes, but she usually will say "oh sorry, I sent home some crap, you can toss that".  [/quote]

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