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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Scary. I could've written this. Is your husband an only child? 
I was in a similar position. I was and am still closer to my MIL. But I have been hurt because I never set up appropriate boundaries. I also forgot that I was a inlaw. There are times when I'm reminded and it hurts. [/quote]

Op here. No. He has siblings. I've never felt like disrespected by them. [/quote]

Okay. So it's all boys just like my situation. Is your DH the oldest? I just ask that you protect your heart. I've projected my mother issues onto my MIL and she her lack of daughter issues on to me. We have a great relationship but it hasn't been without its issues, especially when other siblings got married and then there were more DIL's. Essentially I got relegated back to the position of "DIL"
As or not make the others upset. It showed me that I needed to protect my heart and make sure I never got my MiL and my mom confused. They are not the same. [/quote]

I have a similar position as the OP and my experience has not been like yours at all and I'm 20 years into my marriage. I feel so lucky MIL had her son (my husband) at age 21, so she is still fairly young amd we have hwr with us for many more years to come.

It sounds like you might have read the realtionship wrong in the first place combined with the fact that your MIL is not a nice person.

I definitely do not confuse my MIL wirh my mom, but what i know for sure is who demonstrates their love in action best.

For OP, id just do the mimimum to placate your mom and have your real shower with your MIL and a pity party with your mom.[/quote]

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