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Reply to "Not sure if I should be mad at my mother or son--or mad at all!"
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[quote=Anonymous]Here's my vent: --Both of my kids have birthday coming up in the next few weeks. --I took my kids out shopping for a friends birthday recently and, while we were there, looked at toys for them to get birthday/Christmas ideas. --There were a few things they wanted, I said great but we are not buying any more toys until your birthday. They understood that. --I was away for a two nights and my almost 7yo convinced my mother to take him to the store to go toy shopping. My parents are local so they see my kids ALL the time. This was not a special visit from grandma. And she is constantly buying them things. Usually it is little things or books or a toy car or something and as much as it makes me nuts, I have learned to let the little things go. But she is well aware of the fact that in a few weeks, we have two birthdays in the house. Not to mention Christmas right after. --She lets my older son coerce her into buying a $30 toy that not only was I going to buy anyway for the birthdays but I was going to buy it for my younger son--it's a toy for 4-7 year olds that is WAY below DS1's level. Yet, my mother still buys it. --This is not the first time that this has happened. I gave her a specific toy to buy him for Easter last year and he walks into the house with the same toy two weeks before Easter. I hit the roof. I am frustrated with my son because he is being manipulative and we have had this conversation over and over again. And I told him no new toys until his birthday (and he knew I was going to bring him home a little gift from my business trip). I am frustrated with my mom because she knows better too--we have been through this before. I sent her a text saying, "please do not buy them anything more until their birthday--I already had that gift picked out for DS2". She apologized and said "but DS1 is so convincing". So, basically blamed her lack of self-control on a 6yo who manipulated her. I've already told my son that I was disappointed in his behavior and he knows that I'm upset with him. He showed me the toy before we left for work and school. Here's my question---What can I do to get my mother to stop this and not have to shower them with whatever they want when they ask? And if I can't control her, how do I raise my kids to not manipulate adults into getting what they want? I'm fine with the occasional surprise but this is CONSTANT--and always happens right around another gift-giving holiday. In fact, just two weeks ago, she gave him a gift that she had bought for his birthday but "couldn't wait". And then when I get mad, she still gets to be the hero and I'm the evil witch mother. She's damaging my relationship with my son because she can't control herself when I am just trying to raise him properly. Vent over--but I really do appreciate advice.[/quote]
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