Reply to If you're married, how quickly did you know you were dealing with the "one"?

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Reply to "If you're married, how quickly did you know you were dealing with the "one"?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I wanted to marry my husband after a year. There was no "he's the one" lightning moment. There was a slow progression of many "He could be a great life partner and we could build a great life together" moments.

I'd had a "he's the one!" relationships prior to my husband, where I thought within 3 months that he was the one. It fell apart eventually. I probably had many many more dates where I thought, "Wow, he could be the one!" and had major electricity after the first date. I bet I could dig up at least 2 emails after first dates where I emailed friends and said "I can see him being the one!" -- nope.

I think notions of "The One" or having to have lightning strike are counterproductive. Absolutely it does happen in some relationships, but it also happens in many relationships that go on not to be right. You just hear the stories of those that had that lightning bolt moment AND it worked out. Selection bias.

There's nothing wrong with a slow burn, if that's how it works out for you. It's quite natural, healthy, and how most relationships developed over the millennia. The concept of love marriages and love at first sight is quite new culturally. [/quote]

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