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[quote=Anonymous]Darn it. I clearly see his age in the title. Sorry!

Is he reading yet? That was the turning point for my son. Once he began to read he found an outlet for his stress. Reading gave him a focus outside of every day life. I'm more than a bit concerned that his doctor told you to take away his legos. If legos is his escape, I don't see there benefit of taking it away unless there is a plan to give him a new mental release.

My son is also the middle child. His personality along with having an older and younger sibling made it easier for him to withdraw. We had to carve out specific one on one time with him, doing things that he was interested in. Every week he needed a set, scheduled time for him. Since he likes legos maybe go to the lego store or find a lego group. My son hated groups, but if he was focused on his activity (reading or story time) he focused on the activity and not the group.

The way we spoke to him mattered! We found he responded to direct, calm and even voice control. Anything too "babyish" or too mean and we would lose his focus before we got our message out.

Schedule- He need a strict schedule, with leeway. Being one of three kids we can't schedule everything around his preferences. He did respond well to a time frame, written down. Example- lunch is between 11:30 and 1pm. But bedtime is always at 8:30pm. You'd better believe he would be disappointed if lunch was late. He wasn't a huge brat, and didn't respond in anger if we missed a scheduled activity, but he was disappointed, withdrawn, and a bit depressed.

We gave  expectations, but set the bar low. He needed to know the general plan of the day, but by aiming low we provided opportunities for him to be happily surprised rather than settling him up for disappointment. Of course not everyday is a home run. Expect this basic schedule that we try to hit 80% of the time. When we did under  achieve, he gently reminded about the great times, and the good (schedule achieved) times.

We talk a lot! Even when, or especially when he is in a down mode. If he looks disinterested, or sad, I still communicated with him (and the other two kids) because he was always listening even when he looked lost in his own thoughts.

Back to reading. For my son it is was key. When he needed time alone to regroup, he turned to books. If he was overwhelmed, I read aloud to all three kids. It calmed him and took his mind away from his troubles. Again I'd let your son play with legos, and I'd play with him. That's the key to getting him to open up about all of the wonderful and scary, or sad thoughts he has on his mind.

Finally, make sure his sleep and eating schedule is set in stone. Both have huge impacts on my son's personality and emotions. Once you find how to get underneath that outer layer you will form a new and deeper relationship.

Sorry for any typos.

All the best.[/quote]

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