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[quote=Anonymous]I want to start this off by saying we have already seen out doctor who, after speaking with us and him, agreed there was troubling responses and behaviors and we are now meeting with a psychiatrist and a developmental pediatrician (in a few weeks - first available).  I am looking forward to their analysis, but one of the big things I am also seeking is advice from other parents on books or other resources, including advice, that will help us learn to parent a child like this.

My son -- our middle child -- has always shown signs of strong negative emotions. He had colic. He screamed so loud and we fought him so hard when we changed his diaper that people reported me in restaurants for abuse (that is not a joke, that happened twice). He woke up for the first three years of his life and screamed without stopping. We were in there with him, it wasn't like we cried it out. He just... screamed. Sort of night terrors but he was more awake.  We almost lost our minds.  And ever since he could articulate things, he has ALWAYS taken things in the most negative light.  We go to the aquarium and he says it was not fun because he didn't see all the exhibits. A day of pure joy is ended saying it was a sad day within nothing good because he didn't have blueberries for breakfast. I could go on and on. You all know someone who sees the glass half empty? That's my kid, on literally everything.

He rarely smiles. He glares in all pictures.  He doesn't participate in pretty much anything in preschool (his teachers say he is an "independent learner"). He doesn't want to be a part of family activities. We have to force him to participate - and I do because he is a member of this family and that sometimes means doing activities as a family.

And then there are the signs that led us to the psych eval.  The things he used to love and take joy in no longer interest him. Music that used to make him laugh and dance he now covers his ears.  Finger plays and interactions I used to do with him and he would beg for now make him run away.  He seems afraid of feeling happy. He actively, spontaneously, and regularly says he feels nothing and nothing is good in his life.  People in our lives tell us they are concerned with how he is behaving.  He says all he wants to do is be alone and watch tv (note that we limit screen time).  He says he has no friends any more, and doesn't want to play with any of the kids in the neighborhood he used to love to play with.  He has withdrawn into legos and obsesses over them.  He has actual meltdowns if we take them away, which we did at his doctor's suggestion.

He also walks to the beat of his own drum in a way I love and respect and want to accommodate his personality. It's ok if he doesn't want to smile or be in the Christmas pageant.  It's ok if he needs a lot of alone time. I want to respect the person he is. But I want him to participate in family activities, and life, and find joy in it. I don't want him to always pick up on the one slightly negative thing and have that ALWAYS be his take away. I want to help him find the positive; I truly worry that his memories are forming as a series of negative disappointments and bad experiences where everyone around him had a wonderful time and made happy memories.  Most of all, I want him to be comfortable with joy again.

So that was long. You can tell I'm struggling. I want to know what to do, and learn about this, and learn how to parent this child better. Our 7-year-old has ADHD and sensory integration issues and we went through a similar process when he was a toddler, and again with his ADHD diagnosis. But that almost seemed easier as my older is a happy child who seeks to comply, and is an eternal optimist.  So help me if you've been through this to know what to do for him, or get me started as I learn more about this.  Thank you.  [/quote]

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