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[quote=Anonymous]Okay, let's look at this situation as a whole.  Your 4 year old -- and 4 is an extremely difficult age -- behaves beautifully in school.  He keeps it together there.  Once he gets home, he does have some behavior issues, including problems with his one year old brother.

Your post is titled "Aggressive behavior" which in my opinion is way misleading and way too strong.  You have a four year old who is acting up sometimes at home and by your admission you get infuriated -- infuriated! -- when he grabs his younger brother.  This is such normal sibling behavior that it's hard to understand your reaction.  Yes, you don't want him grabbing the baby but fury on your part is pretty toxic and does nothing to help him.

It actually sounds like age appropriate misbehavior, and I'm not saying it's great behavior, I'm saying wow, your kid is behaving (misbehaving) appropriately for age 4.  And that's great for a kid who is globally delayed and completely nonverbal.  I also have a kid like that, and when she misbehaves in a way that is age appropriate, we kind of celebrate in our house. Yes I know, we reprimand her too, and all that, but DH and I often grab each other in the kitchen and jump up and down and have a moment of celebration where we screech at each other (She lied!  She tried to be sarcastic!).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your expectations of him can't be any higher than a normal kid, and it seems like they are.[/quote]

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