Reply to DH's 1950s-era women friends

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH's 1950s-era women friends"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]DH and I are starting to lose touch with some of his friends, because of the 1950s attitude of some of the females in the group. It's a big group who met in college, and added in spouses in the past 15 or so years. Even though they are spread out over the DC area, they get together a few times a year for "big" outings, with more casual meet-ups sprinkled in for whomever can participate.

I'm a wife who "married in" with no ties to this group other than my husband. I generally enjoy all of them, like the get-togethers, and have developed my own friendships with some of the women in the group.

But, a few years ago, I shifted from being willing to "manage" some of DH's calendar and family/friend relationships to not being willing to do that at all any more; DH is more than fine with this. The shift came after we had kids--we both WOH, we both agreed that we are each responsible for answering and extending invites, remembering birthdays, being the "primary host" during visits, etc. That's our plan, it's what works for us, and DH communicated the "shift" to his family/friends when needed.

To my surprise, while DH's very traditional family has gotten comfortable with this change, his 30/40something female friends have not. They absolutely refuse to change the way they try to connect with us. All invitations come to me, and just to me: evites, phone calls, texts, etc. I always send everything to DH as soon as I get it, and he then responds directly, even sometimes saying, "Please remember that I'm the main point of contact now. I'll keep Karen in the loop, don't worry." Sometimes, especially when evites are concerned, he drops the ball, and doesn't respond/doesn't remember, and we miss out. To me, it's an "Oh well."

But his friends have now started resenting ME for him being forgetful/unresponsive.

What would you do in my case? Keep on keeping on? Just give in and respond? It's so annoying!

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics