Reply to Personal Crisis in New Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few months ago, I met someone who had recently moved to town. We've ended up dating since and things had been going well. This person had not put a foot wrong towards me and we had been making some future plans. Everything was great. Then over the last couple of weeks, a series of events in this person's life have led to them essentially having a full-on crisis, culminating in an evening where some messages were exchanged that made me very concerned for this person's well being. After that day, this person very much shut down, and I was left completely in the dark about what exactly had happened (I was never told any real details about what was going on) and how this person was doing. I was finally able to get them to meet up to discuss a few days ago. They were surprisingly forthright and honest about the issues they were facing, which I appreciated given that it could not have been easy to let me in on some of these things.

At this point, this person is not in a good spot and is very much struggling, although seems to be a bit better after hibernating for a week. It seems as though I may be the only person that is aware of the issue, as [b]they for some reason feel a strong sense of not wanting to burden anyone else with their problems. [/b]My questions is, what, if anything can I or should I do to help? [b]They don't really know anyone here and have no base of support in the city and also feel this strong need to deal with this alone, which I hate.[/b] For me, my role here is complicated by the fact that we've only ever been in a dating relationship, not a situation where we were friends first. I don't know if I should consider this relationship over and leave them alone or if I should continue to check in occasionally to make sure they are ok. I'm not really concerned with the state of the relationship at this point, but I do care enough to want this person to be OK, don't want them to feel that they are alone, and want them to get help if they need/want it. I'm just not sure what, if anything, would be appropriate at this point. [/quote]

They have been pretty obvious about how they want this handled.  They pulled back, in order to deal with this alone.  They don't want to bother others with their problems.  IF they needed your support/help, they would say "I need your help".

Check in from time to time to make sure they are ok, but otherwise, let them deal w/their problem on their own time in their own manner. Whether you "hate" it or not, that is how they want to deal w/their problems.[/quote]

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