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[quote=Anonymous]It's an anonymous message board, so I'm going to lay it all out. We're affluent--DH earns enough in DC to put us in the top 1%, income-wise, that is.  I'm not going to say we're rich, since there's no intergernational money.  We have a nice townhome in a neighborhood with similarly situated (or better) people. Can you help me crack the code to raising children who will fit in with our "peers"?  I put that in quotes because while we earn roughly what they do and both went to the same schools (HYP and equivalents), we do not come from similar upbringings (think drug addicted parents, hunger and stints living in motels).

Moreover, the American tendency to pretend class doesn't exist makes it all the harder to fit it.  I know people don't like to call themselves rich or upper class, but dammit, the people I live with are rich and upper class.  If I told them I came from a lower class and needed help navigating their world, they'd probably have a heart attack and say I was being dramatic. But class exists, and there's so much I don't know.

For example, I had no idea that I needed to enroll my kid in swim lessons.  If you think this is a weird example, that means you probably grew up in a much higher social class than I did...trust me, ability to swim is a huge class divider.  There are so many small, probably meaningless things TO YOU, that I don't know.

Anyhow, we were invited to a couple beach homes this summer, my kid was the only one who couldn't swim. Oops.  I also learned many of the kids are already starting piano lessons. They get on buses every day to go to camp in the country.  Oh, and in a few years, they will be go sleep away camps.  Some girls are in a Girl Scout troop, which is full--I wish I'd known earlier. Also, get them into Sidwell now, even though it's expensive, because it guarantees their spot in upper school.  And here I was planning on public until middle school. Oops again.

I know class and money are touchy issues. This is going to sound crazy, but I still feel working class.  We have to work for what we have. No trust funds or massive stock options here.   In that sense, I feel working class and want to provide what's best for the kids, but not too much.  No horseback riding and first class trips. But yes to Girl Scouts and swimming lessons.  What else am I missing for an upper-middle class lifestyle?

BTW, I want to make it clear that I don't think we're so awesome because we earn well.  We got lucky, and I'd like to milk it for all it's worth.   :)

Thanks in advance for any advice. I'm an introvert and haven't made many new friends here.  I feel like an outsider here, as I do at home now.  Not to minimize the struggle of being an immigrant, but it sometimes feel (a little) like I'm in a new country.  I like it here, too. I just don't know how to fit in yet.  Any advice welcome. TIA again![/quote]

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