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[quote=Anonymous]These are hard concepts to learn and are things every kid this age is struggling with, even if how the kid deals with it may be different.  I would try to remember that this is not unusual and not a personal character flaw.

In my opinion, I think it's best to focus on the actual things she's doing that are not okay (i.e. hitting, yelling), rather than her emotions.  You can and should talk with her about her emotions and how to cope with them, but you can't tell someone not to feel frustrated about something.  She has a right to feel the way she does but has to express that frustration in an appropriate way without hurting the other person or saying mean things.  I would try to help her find alternatives -- suggest a way to say something productive rather than yelling (i.e. "It made me so mad when you moved my art project; could you please ask me before you touch my special things next time?"), and suggest a good way to deal with frustration that makes her want to hit (i.e. hitting a pillow or walking away to get a break).

As far as teaching her that not everyone is going to do things the way she wants them to be done, I think she's going to learn this no matter what because that's how life works.  You can help by making sure that at home you aren't giving in to her demands or desires just to avoid a conflict.  But it's her response that you want to change -- not the feelings she has about it.  Frankly, everyone wants things their own way -- even adults -- but we've learned to deal with it better when they don't go that way.[/quote]

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