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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it possible your DD's "maturity" is annoying?  I like kids, I like talking to kids, but I can't stand precocious and talkative children that are raised to think they can speak like peers to adults. There should be some respect/deference.

So I can see where your "mature" is SIL's "annoying".[/quote]

Wow - so the seen and not heard school of parenting??? I think OP that your SIL - if it is just your DD she is cold to is probably competitive (unconsciously or not) that your daughter is able to carry on conversations and feels comfortable talking to others in the family whereas her DD maybe babyish and not able to verbalize in same way. I would just try to deflect when you can but sadly your DD will soon learn that her aunt is not a very warm person and will not seek her out as a favored person in her life.

We were thrilled that our children valued family and expected and acted on the idea that family would be interested in their lives. As parents we wouldn't have them dominate conversations or be the lead on activities but 2 of my 3 were very comfortable at very young ages and enjoyed being among all the family and friends of all ages pretty much right from the start. (Our oldest, who was exceptionally verbal at a very young age was the least comfortable but that was because she was very very shy.) While I don't think my kids saw themselves as old like the adults in the family they did feel valued and frankly we never noticed any extended family or close friends treating them other than respectfully and they were as interested in hearing stories and news the adults had to share as they were in sharing their own. Of course some things went over their heads and we all had the good sense to not share all things if their life experiences or maturity wasn't there yet. But - if my kids (or their cousins, etc)  took a little longer to tell or a story or if their wonder of first discovery was perhaps late in coming - I think at least our family/friends enjoyed the coming awareness rather than suffered it as tediousness. I do remember once being at an event where a grumpy woman snidely tried to shush a group of children with the idea that they didn't have a right to be engaged and talking as others at the party were and my own DD looked at her then me questioningly - but I assured her that the woman had ideas of behavior that we did not share.[/quote]

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