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[quote=Anonymous]Honestly, I wouldn't stay.  My now exDH had an affair and pleaded the same - it was a mistake, please forgive me and stay together.  Luckily, there was no baby.  But, there were multiple affairs and lots of other secrets that subsequently came out, and I later heard that one of the womwn he was dating told him she was pregnant but she either ended up not being or getting an abortion.

Honestly, if I were you I would split up.  A person who has an affair and does this is deeply damaged. You. can't create a healthy family environment without participating in the kind of lying and coverup and boundary-crossing that is required as part of the affair and aftermath.

Also, TBH, I just simply wouldn't want any part of the responsibility of raising a child that was not mine.  And I would feel no guilt about that. The child is not a "mistake" but it is a consequence of behaviour you didn't engage in, didn't know about and didn't consent to and therefore you have every right to draw a boundary and separate. Even in a 50/50 custody situation, being able to raise your children in a stable, honest, connected environment is better than 100% of the time in drama and deceipt.

So sorry you are going thru this.  [/quote]

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