Reply to Sister-in-Law doesn't want to be a parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She hasn't actually said that, but it's pretty obvious. She has one child from her first marriage (7yo boy) and two stepdaughters (12 and 17). I never see her interact with any of the kids. For her son, this has long resulted in him acting out in a desperate bid for attention, any attention, from any adult. We'll go out to dinner, and the extent of her interactions with the kid are "what do you want, chicken finger or mac & cheese?" If she has the chance to foist of responsibility for watching the kid at a park or playground on another adult, she does, but without asking. She'll just go off with her husband and assume someone will watch the kid.

But this all came to a head this past weekend and I'm pretty pissed. DH and I moved (just a couple of blocks away) and MIL came down with her cargo van to help. We have a 5 month old, which made things challenging. MIL was to take SIL's son (henceforth "TK") Sunday afternoon and bring him to "Camp Grandma" for the week. SIL's family went on vacation the week prior and returned home Saturday night.

Sunday, we're moving the furniture. I realized I left my baby's favorite stuff animal at a friend's house Saturday, so ran to pick it up while my DH picked up the rental truck and MIL waited at the house with baby. I return to find SIL there at 10:30 am, dropping of TK, with no warning. "He said he was ready to go to Grandma, so I'm dropping him off!" Um, say what? This is not a great situation for a 7 year old. "Oh, and I didn't get a chance to feed him breakfast, so he's hungry." Grrrrrrrrrr.

But then, when MIL asks what big plans SIL has for the day, her response was "I just spent 7 day in a row with three kids. I'm exhausted! I'm going back to bed." What. Da. Fuq. You're a parent. This is kind of what you signed up for. Oh, poor baby, seven days with your children, the horror, the horror! "It was just non-stop 'Mom, Mom, Mom. Mom, watch this! Mom, take my picture! Mom, who made the best sandcastle? Even when I said 'Mom is off duty' they kept bugging me!"

I'm trying to explain to her that, no, this is not going to work, I do not need an attention-starved 7 year old underfoot while trying to move all our big furniture and unpack the new place. [b]MIL didn't help at all by saying things like "It's fine, it's fine, it'll give us more time together."[/b]

I'm just so over this. She's so selfish. I feel so bad for her kid, but, frankly, it's not my responsibility to basically be a substitute parent just because she would rather be doing things other than parenting. Unfortunately, she lives nearby and DH is less willing to curtail our interactions with SIL. But one of these days, I fear I'm going to snap at her and it will be ugly.

Vent over. Thanks for reading.[/quote]

Yes, yes she did.  MIL did exactly what you are supposed to do in this situation, which is make your nephew feel good.  He isn't your nephew-in-law, he is your nephew.  And you are his aunt.  Quit being a bitch about it and step up and give him some love.  He really, really needs it.  Your kid is going to look up to him tremendously, starting really soon.[/quote]

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