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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP...I feel stupid since I feel i misread situations early in our dating and came to flattering conclusions.

Such as:

- Texts mom in the middle of a party: I thought aw how sweet! He is family oriented - turns out his mother is controlling and codependent
- Wears nice clothes and shoes: I thought wow he must come from a good family - his mom picked out his clothes to portray a certain image
- Graduated from an IVY and we met at a competitive internship: I thought he was hardworking and ambitious - turns out he is academically gifted but has little career skills or ambition

So now I sometimes wonder how did I get here with someone who I share little with :( [/quote]

This happened to me. A lot of it was lack of maturity and mental illness on his part and naivete on my part. He was an MIT grad and he suffered from anxiety sbd depression, something i only recognize now that i am older. I thought it was because we were young. I grew up and had a great career and he stayed up all night playing online poker and eating pizza. We divorced when we turned 30. He needed to find himself and I had an amazing career opportunity in another city. I met my second husband a year after the divorce and now 8 years later I am remarried with kids. I was friends with my second dh a long time before we started dating. And we travelled together and really got to know each other. He is truly my partner and equal. It is okay to divorce. Sometimes it is the best thing that can happen to you![/quote]

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