Reply to I made a mistake...but now it's too late, right?

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Reply to "I made a mistake...but now it's too late, right?"

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[quote=Anonymous]After dating for several years and not finding anyone I connected with I met a guy that I fell head over heels for. I loved everything about him, deeply, and he claimed to feel the same. Then almost a year later he broke up with me, without much of an explanation. He still tried to maintain contact but I just couldn't. Obviously. It took me a long time to get over him (and not sure I ever really did). Then another guy comes along. I'm not attracted to him, but he's kind and smart and absolutely adores me. We hang out as friends. I enjoy being with him and he grows on me. I think I love him. We get married.  Fast forward 6 years. We have two boys. I love him for being my kids dad and for loving me. But there are problems:

He periodically gets depressed, which makes my life sad for however long he's in those depression bouts. He basically just shuts down and is negative for a few days to a week. Doesn't want to interact. He brings me down. And no, he won't seek help, no matter how much I beg him to. Then he just comes out of it like nothing ever happened and is joking and happy. He ignores it when I try to talk to him about it, will literally walk away. (Am I supposed to deal with this my whole life?) Also, I'm not attracted to him. I fear that I married him because I was feeling rejected from the previous relationship and needing to fill a void. He's not who I envisioned spending my life with. He's read a lot of books but doesn't have a lot of common sense. He's not physically what I want (and just for context most think i'm very attractive).

All that said, now we have the boys and they're more important that anything in my life. So, for their benefit, I'm sacrificing my happiness and desires and staying with their dad. They don't really seem to notice his depression bouts and I do a good job of keeping them occupied and stepping up when I see it setting in. If they come to engage him when he's depressed he usually will turn on a happy face for a few moments so they don't even notice. It would be very hard to parent alone, and beyond that -- what are my chances at finding someone else desirable in my late 30s with two kids? It was hard enough when I was single. Or, am I wrong? Should I be taking another approach? [/quote]

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