Reply to Can't seem to forgive myself or DH

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[quote=Anonymous]So your issue is that you don't trust him and you need him to come clean on exactly what happened in the past so that you can have closure and move on. It troubles you because he wasn't honest with you in the past, and your gut tells you that this may be his way to deal with things in the future--hiding what he does and refusing to come clean when confronted.

He chose to be with you. Was it because his ex wouldn't have him? Did he ever clarify that? Do you worry you're second choice? Do you worry that in future, he will build her up into a fantasy dreamgirl and it will negatively affect you? And finally, do you expect him to be honest about any of this? Because he knows that what he says can haunt you both.

How did you get through dating, becoming engaged, and then marrying without resolving this? Did you think each next step would be the proof you'd need to set it to rest? And yet here it is, still bothering you.

At this point you really shouldn't still be arguing about his ex. Why should it even come up when you argue about other things? How is it related? Is he generally untrustworthy and doing things that make you feel insecure in his feelings and commitment towards you?

Yeah, I ask a lot of questions.[/quote]

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