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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can be honest without being brutally honest.

Just take your brother aside and have a quick conversation with him.  Don't include SIL. 
Don't put the responsibility for your kids behavior on his kids. That won't have a good outcome.

Just say something like.  "When our kids get together they seem to rile each other up until the situation gets out of control.  I think is great that they like spending time together but I need your help calming them all down them down when they get out of control".

Then you get together and when things start going off the rails, tell your brother this is what you mean and ask him to help get all the kids to behave.  If that doesn't work, you have tried and that is all you can do for now and maybe things will change as the kids get older. [/quote]

This is the approach that I would take, too.  I also have no problem setting a different standard of behavior for my kids than others do for theirs - not killjoy levels, but there is not a circumstance in which, for example, jumping on the couch or harassing a pet is okay.

I am also wondering how old the kids involved are?  Honestly, I did not care for one of my nephews as a child for similar reasons (and parents who couldn't locate discipline with the world's most precise GPS), but he's matured a lot and grown into a really nice young man.  I enjoy spending time with him now.[/quote]

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